Dear Diary
by J.S. Jamesbrooke
Summary: When she smiles, I can't help but smile back. A Liley story...Now a two shot as I decided to write a sequel
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is dedicated to one of my favorite people TurnMeOn. Here's you much belated birthday present haha see I told you'd I'd get it done eventually.**

**Okay so not my best writing here and I know there's been stories similar but this has been building in my brain for awhile and I needed to get it out. I was originally going to just do it all in diary format but didn't like how it would end so this is what you get instead. Enjoy!**

Lilly Truscott walked into her single dorm, placing the books she was carrying and her backpack down neatly on the desk. Sitting down on her bed, she turned to fluff her pillow up some and then reclined back and opened the novel she was supposed to be reading for a paper that was due soon.

After re-reading the same page three times she threw the book down, knowing it was no use. There was too much on her mind, or rather to much of a certain someone on her mind.

She needed to talk to someone about it, but really there wasn't anyone that would understand. Looking straight ahead, her eyes focused on her laptop and suddenly she had an idea.

Sitting up and then standing, she walked over to her desk and started up her computer. Once everything was loaded she pulled up a blank Word page and began typing.

**March 5, 2012**

_Dear Diary,_

_I know I have a book sitting around here somewhere to write stuff like this in, but I just can't seem to make myself do it. Writing it down on paper just seems so permanent. You however a pretty page in a program sitting on my computer that can easily be erased if I'm afraid it will fall into the wrong hands. I have to get this out once and for all though so this is my story._

_See here's the thing Diary, I thought I had my whole life planned out. I mean it was so simple, I was going to go to college then get married, have a couple kids and live happily ever after. Life it seems has a funny sense of humor however._

_I always knew there was something different about me. I mean most of the girls I knew were into nail polish and lip gloss. They spent all their time dressing up for the guys that might give them the time of day. They weren't at the skate park or on the beach. And they certainly weren't checking out the other girls in swimsuits._

_Don't me wrong I was still attracted to guys…A LOT… but I knew I was attracted to girls too. Although it was almost a year of debating with myself before I finally accepted it. I just left it at that within my mind._

_I've known Oliver practically my whole life, since preschool anyway. We've been best friends from the day we met. Everyone always said we'd end up married someday, even our parents believed it would happen. I just laughed it off._

_He was the only person I ever told about being bisexual. He accepted it easily and I knew his opinion of me never faltered._

_Shortly after that he finally had the courage to tell me how he felt about me and we dated on and off all through high school. _

_I went off to college pretty much having the rest of my life planned out. After college Oliver and I would get married and have a few kids and I'd have the family I've always wanted. I always knew I didn't love him the way he loved me. Just knowing that he loved me for who I was and knowing he'd never hurt me on purpose was enough for me._

_In the back of my head I wondered if I was just too big of a chicken to tell my family the truth. Marry Oliver would certainly make my life easier. It would be my secret to keep, and I planned to take it to the grave._

_Or so I believe, that is until I met__** her**__. I just started my freshman year of college and I met her on the first day of classes more than six months ago. After noticing her in three of my classes I decided maybe I should just introduce myself. Her name is Miley and the word stunning didn't even begin to describe how beautiful she is._

_We hit it off instantly. I was a little disappointed to hear she had a boyfriend that she had been dating for years but shrugged it off not willing to let it damper this new friendship we were building._

_Besides I was taken right?_

_Okay that's it for now Catch ya later!_

Closing the lid of her lap top, Lilly felt totally exhausted. Looking at the clock she realized why. She had been at the computer for a lot longer than she believed. Getting ready for bed, she crawled in hoping she would, or maybe that she wouldn't dream of Miley tonight.

**May 15, 2012**

_Dear Diary,_

_Well I'm back for another session of bearing my soul. I think I've fallen in love with her. I can't explain it any other way. Everything about her just makes me notice her more. That sexy walk she does when she's happy, the way she flips her hair and runs her hands through it while she talks. When she smiles I can't help but smile with her, I love seeing her smile. It's my favorite part of her._

_The more time I spent with her the more I know that Jake "the jerk" Ryan isn't right for her. She has cried on my shoulders more times than I can count over him. At the same time she seemed reluctant to break up with him. I haven't out right said she should leave him, but I think she knows how I feel about him and she never tries to change my opinion of him so a part of her must know it's the truth._

_Instead I sit and listen to her talk about him and my heart fills with jealousy that while he's a lousy boyfriend he gets to claim her as his own. I wish I could do that. Anything is worth the risk if it means that I'll finally have her love me the way I love her._

_Oliver knows it too. He could see it on my face when I went home for Spring Break. I could tell in the way he acted that he knew something had changed with me. I know he secretly just hoped it was nothing, that I was just going through something._

_I knew in the end I had to be honest with him though. It wasn't fair to either of us. We had a long talk the night before I left. I know I hurt him deeply but he said he understood and just wanted me to be happy. I told him he'd find someone who loved him the way he deserved. We joked about that for a few before giving each other a hug and going our separate ways. Our friendship would be okay I was sure of that._

_Oh hold on Diary she's IMing me now…_

Switching over to her Windows Live, Lilly quickly reads the message waiting there for her.

"Hey Lil, I'm having some trouble with this essay I'm supposed to be writing. I was hoping you could help me with it?"

She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face at the thought of spending some time with Miley. Lilly quickly started to respond, "Sure come on over."

"Thanks Lil, I'll be right there."

Switching back to her document she ended her entry with one last thought.

_Miley's on her way over here, maybe today will be the day I finally have the guts to tell her how I feel._

_Catch ya later._

Shutting her computer down, she began twirling around in her desk chair waiting for the other girl to arrive. As soon as she heard the knock on the door she was out of the chair with a smile on her face.

Miley and Lilly spent the next hour working on her paper. After they finished Miley said she wasn't ready to leave just yet so Lilly suggest the two of them just watch a movie and hang out for a bit. Since there wasn't a lot of place to sit in the small dorm room, they both crowded together on Lilly's full size bed. It wasn't long before Miley's head found Lilly's shoulder and her heart started to soar.

A little while later Lilly felt a wet spot starting to form on her shirt and realized Miley was crying. "Hey what's wrong?"

"It's just…" Miley paused not knowing how to continue. "Jake and I broke up last night."

"Oh sweetie I'm so sorry." Lilly wanted to comfort her, she was just hoping she'd be able to say the right thing. "He wasn't right for you though. He's crazy for breaking up with you."

Finally looking up at Lilly, "No you don't understand, he didn't break up with me. I broke up with him."

Lilly was speechless. Inside she was screaming "YES!" but she didn't want to say that out loud so she just waited for Miley to tell her the rest. She wasn't disappointed.

"I've known for awhile it wasn't going to last I just didn't want to accept it. But I also didn't want to accept what else I was feeling, for who I was having feelings for. I ah…" Miley stopped not knowing if she could really go on.

"What is it Miles? You can tell me." Lilly was afraid of what Miley would have to say next but secretly she hoped she knew what it was.

When Miley still didn't say anything she began to get nervous so it was really surprising when she just started kissing the smaller girl. Miley pulled back before Lilly's brain had time to process it and react.

"I'm sorry Lil, it's just I couldn't help myself any longer. I'll go now."

Miley started to get up but didn't get far before she felt a hand on her arm turning her back around. Faster than she could have thought possible she felt the younger girls lips now on her own kissing her this time. The two continued to make out until they pulled apart to take a breath.

"It's okay Miles, cause I've been in love with you from the day I met you," Lilly finally told her breathlessly.

"I love you to Lils, have from the very beginning."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi I'm back with a sequel! Since it's once again TurnMeOn's birthday on Monday I thought what better way to celebrate than to return to the original. So this is dedicated to her again. You all should wish her a happy birthday…and bug her about still not reading the first one LOL. Thanks!**

**Oh and no I haven't forgotten about my epilogue to Loving Miley, hopefully I'll have it up here soon.**

**--**

**June 18, 2013**

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't know if I can take it anymore…I just don't know what to do. I'm still incredibly in love with Miley, but things between us have become…strained to say the least. Maybe I better catch ya up on what's happened the last year._

_Shortly after we got together we both graduated with degrees from UCLA and on that day Miley told me about her being Hannah Montana. It was a little weird at first knowing my new girlfriend was an international superstar but it was awesome too. Spending the summer going to concerts and parties, being surrounded by the worlds famous. Of course Miley told me I needed a new identity as well so that her secret would stay a secret so the two of us created Lola, Hannah's crazy friend and confidant._

_Miley moved back in with her dad, while I found an apartment nearby and a job at the local newspaper. Our parents were supportive of us when we told them we were together and we spent as much time together as possible. _

_As our careers both started to take more of our time we started to see each other less and less. Our schedules seemed to never match up._

_A few months ago we had the idea that maybe if we lived together we'd get to see each other more often. I felt for sure this was a good decision, that way atleast I'd get to spend the little moments with my girl if nothing else. Her dad questioned her decision a bit, but in the end she was 23 and old enough to decide so within the next couple of weeks we began moving all her stuff into my apartment. I didn't notice how small a place it was until then. Trying to fit both of our stuff into it wasn't easy._

_For a couple weeks we went through what people refer to as the honeymoon period I'd guess, things were great. Even though we were both still gone, atleast at night we got to cuddle and just be with each other. Then diary I don't know what happened. We started fighting over the littlest things. I'm just not sure…_

Hearing the lock click open a few feet away from her Lilly quickly hits save before closing her laptop. Standing up, she walks around the kitchen table where she was sitting and towards the living room. Miley was just kicking off her heals into the pile of shoes next to the door, hands on the end table sitting there holding herself up.

"Your home early," Lilly greets her, giving her a hesitant peck on the lips before moving back to stand in front of her.

"Yeah we got those new songs recorded faster than I thought we would. What ya been up too?" Miley asks just trying to make conversation, she's not sure how to talk to Lilly anymore. It used to come so easily to the two of them but not since they started living together.

Trying to form an answer Lilly watched as Miley walked around their cramped living room to plop down on the couch sitting her feet up of the coffee table in front of her. "Oh just working on editing some articles," she lied. She'd never told the brunette that she secretly kept a diary on her laptop, it just never seemed to come up.

Hoping to close the distance between them Lilly went and sat down next to Miley. The two try desperately to make think of things to talk about but neither one of them coming up with much to keep the chatter going. It was the most time they'd seen each in a while and neither of them had anything to say.

During a lull, Lilly reached out taking Miley's hand in her own. Entwining their fingers, she covered their joined hand with her other one putting it in her lap, just wanting to be close to Miley right now. "Well since your home and we can actually spend some time together why don't we go out? Or maybe see if there's a movie on and just cuddle on the couch?" Lilly asked hopefully.

Turning to look into Lilly's eyes, Miley sat there a moment not answering, just studying the other girl seriously. Closing herself off she pulled her hand out of Lilly's, standing up, "actually I'm kinda tired. Think I'll just go to bed." Leaning down she gave Lilly a quick kiss before wandering down the hall to their bedroom, closing the door with a soft click.

**July 20, 2013**

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't take it anymore! I really mean it. Miley have barely spoken to each other in the last month. She never comes home, instead staying gone until late then sneaking into our bed. If I didn't know any better I'd say she's cheating on me. But that's the thing Diary, I do know better and I know she'd never do that. But something is definitely going on with her and I just don't know what to do about it. _

_I love her with all my heart, but if she won't even talk to me then I just can't see what the point of staying together any longer is. We're not even a couple anymore. We're just roommates. Actually we're worse than that, roommates atleast talk to each other I believe, we don't even do that. We're just two people sharing the same space but with two totally different lives._

_I don't know how much more I can take. I'm just hoping things change soon, because as much as I don't want to say goodbye, I just don't think my heart can take much more of this. I love Miley, but this is killing me._

Lilly closed the lid to her laptop, too tired and too upset to even close out of her document. Leaving it sitting there on the kitchen table where it usually sat when she wasn't using it, she head headed back to the bedroom. Not even bothering to change into pajamas she crashed into bed. Even in her sleep she kept one ear on the door listening as Miley came home, looked around for something to eat, then joining her in bed after awhile.

**July 27, 2013**

_Dear Diary,_

_Wow! So the last week has been a lot better. It's not perfect by any means, but there's a difference in Miley, even if it's a small one. She's been trying atleast. Coming home at a reasonable hour and spending some time with me. She's still as guarded as she's been the last little while, but I can see that she wants things to be different too._

_In fact tonight she's taking me out. Alright it's just to one of her concerts but she said I had to be there, that tonight was a special night. I'm all ready to go, already dressed in my disguise as Lola. I'm just sitting here waiting for Hannah to make her appearance. The way she's been acting is really starting to make me wonder what is going on. But I'm not going to complain, atleast for tonight I get to see the girl I love up there doing the thing that she loves. There's nothing more I enjoy than that._

"You ready?" Miley walks into the kitchen asking, pulling Lilly out of her thoughts.

"Yep, just give me a second." Lilly quickly hits save before closing down the computer. Standing up, she grabbed her purse, before putting her free hand into the one Miley was holding out to her. Making their way as quickly as possible down the stairs so as not to be seen, they reached the limo parked outside climbing in without being spotted.

Later that night Lilly watched her girlfriend from the sidelines, simply amazed by the girl in front of her. She had never seen anyone work an audience as well as Hannah did. During breaks she's run off stage and grab Lilly by the hand dragging her here where ever she needed to go, whether it be the bathroom, costume change, or even just to get a drink, making sure that Lilly knew Miley was aware she was still there watching.

The concert was nearing the end and Lilly still wasn't sure why this concert was so special. So far it had been a pretty average concert. The notes to the final song came on leaving Lilly even more confused when still nothing happened.

The song ended and Lilly was surprised when Hannah didn't start walking off stage, instead she stood in her final pose for a little bit longer before putting the microphone back up to her mouth.

"Now I know this is usually the part where I walk off stage and ya'll start screaming 'encore.' But I've got a special treat for ya'll instead. I'm gonna sing something you've never heard me sing before. It's not mine, but I'm borrowing it for the night How about that?" The whole audience began cheering like mad. Lilly just stood there wondering just what Miley was up too.

When it looked like they weren't going to stop anytime soon, Hannah began waving her hands down indicating for them to settle down. "This song has got a special dedication attached to it. This song is for my friend Lola, who is so much more to me than that. She's everything to me even if I don't always treat her that way. I love ya Lola." Hannah finished talking as the cords to a song Lilly didn't know begin to play.

_**You're my lover  
Undercover  
You're my secret passion and I have no other**_

_**You're delicious  
So capricious  
If I find out you don't want me, I'll be vicious**_

_**Say you love me  
And you'll have me  
In your arms forever and I won't forget it**_

_**Say you miss me  
Come and kiss me  
Take me up to heaven and you won't regret it**_

_**You are the one  
You're my number one  
The only treasure I'll ever have  
You are the one  
You're my number one  
Anything for you 'cause you're the one I love **_

The song was upbeat and not your typical love song, but Lilly could feel what Miley as Hannah was trying to tell her. Listening closely to the lyrics she let them wash over her, just taking in the meaning behind the words.

_**You're my lover  
Undercover  
You're my secret passion and I have no other**_

_**You're a fire  
And desire  
When I kiss your lips, you know, you take me higher**_

_**You're addiction  
My conviction  
You're my passion, my relief, my crucifixion**_

_**Never leave me  
And believe me  
You will be the sun into my raining season**_

_**Never leave me  
And believe me  
In my empty life you'll be the only reason**_

_**You are the one  
You're my number one  
The only treasure I'll ever have  
You are the one  
You're my number one  
Anything for you 'cause you're the one I love**_

_**You're my lover  
Undercover  
You're my secret passion and I have no other**_

_**You are the one  
You're my number one  
The only treasure I'll ever have  
You are the one  
You're my number one  
Anything for you 'cause you're the one I love**_

_**You're my lover  
Undercover  
You're my secret passion and I have no other**_

Lilly couldn't help the smile that made it's way onto her face as the song came to an end. It seemed Miley or Hannah wasn't ready to give up the microphone just yet however. Turning to where Lola was standing just off the stage she waved her to come out. When she didn't come out immediately Hannah turned back to her audience. "Come on everyone, help me out here," before the words were even out of her mouth a chorus of "Lola, Lola," went around the stadium.

To say Lilly was terrified was an understatement, but with thousands of fans screaming her name how could she refuse. Slowly making her way to the middle of the stage she stopped just short of where Hannah was standing and the chanting began to die down.

Taking Lilly's hand in her own Miley turned to Lilly to stare into her eyes, wanting to make sure the other girl could see the truth hidden in them. "Lola, I love you and I'm truly sorry sweetheart for the way I've been acting lately," she told Lilly in front of thousands, making her want to cry having seen that Miley was honestly sorry.

It wasn't long before a round of "kiss, kiss," went up around them. Leaning in Miley gave her a quick kiss before pulling the shorter girl into her arms. "We'll talk as soon as we get home I promise," she whispered in Lilly's ear as the curtain began closing and the two girls headed off stage.

It was several hours before they were able to make their way back to the apartment. As soon as the door was closed behind them Miley began simultaneously pulling off her wig and kicking off her shoes. Running a hand through her hair shaking it out, she let a huge sigh of relief. "That feel so much better."

Besides taking off her wig, Lilly didn't allow her to venture much further into the room, wondering what was going to happen now that they were home. Miley promised they would talk, she just wasn't sure who was supposed to start it.

"Come sit by me Lil," Miley pulled Lilly out of her wanderings, only noticing now that Miley had moved to make herself comfortable on the couch. Lilly sat down carefully beside her waiting for Miley to continue, knowing she'd started it now.

"Look ya gotta promise to listen to everything I have to say and not get mad," Miley gently. Getting a nod from the blonde, she continued, "ok so here's the whole truth. Right after we moved in together Jake started contacting me. I told him right off you and I were together and I was happy, but that didn't stop him. It only seemed to make him more determined, I just didn't know it. He pretended he just wanted to be my friend now, he had no other interest in me than that."

Pausing for a minute, she studied Lilly for a moment seeing she was listening intently. She didn't appear angry, just stared at her with interest. "He started playing all these head games making me second guess myself, not just about you, but about everything in my life. I knew what he was trying to do and I did my best to ignore him, but secretly I was wondering if he was right. He kept telling me you could do better than me, that he and I deserved each other. I knew the latter wasn't true, but I wondered if you could do better than me. Every time I looked at you all I could see was you with someone else prettier or smarter than me. That's when I started working late and not coming home, it hurt too much to see that even if it was only in my head."

Miley couldn't hold back the tears anymore, instead letting them flow freely. Pulling Miley into her arms Lilly did her best to comfort the sobbing girl, running a hand gently down her hair. "Miley, you know that's not true right? I hope you know you're everything I want and so much more," she said honestly, hoping Miley believed her.

"I hope you still feel that way when I finish this story. One night last week I came home and you were already in bed. I went to fix me something to eat and while I waited for it to cook I noticed your laptop still on so I pulled it open so I could just play a game or something while I waited. I noticed you left a document up and thinking it was just an article I went to minimize it til I caught sight of my name on the page. I swear I didn't mean to read your diary, it took me a minute to even realize that's what it was. I thought for sure you were going to break up with me after reading that."

"Miley…"

"No I'm not finished yet. I went to work the next day so upset thinking it was going to be over between us. Well Jake chose that day to stop by. Believing he was my friend I let everything out, crying on his shoulder not realizing that half the reason I was so upset was his fault for making me act the way I was. It wasn't until he tried to kiss me that things started to click. Don't worry he didn't succeed and he got a big smack across the face for even trying." Both girls gave a half laugh over that knowing that in other circumstances it would have been funnier, but right now they were trying to work things out.

"I realized right then I needed to do everything I could to fix things with you. I love you Lil. I meant what I said tonight, you mean everything to me. And I hope I haven't ruined everything between us."

It seemed like Miley was finally done talking, but Lilly needed a minute to figure out what to say. There was so much going through her mind right then. So many things she needed to process. "Miley, while I'm not happy you read my private thoughts, I hope you realize I only felt that way because you wouldn't talk to me. So much of this could have been avoided if you would have just told me what was going on."

"I know Lil, I know."

"And I really wanna kick Jake's ass. There is no one else for me, I love you to Miley, so much. I really hope you believe that."

"I do now."

"Good! Now that that's over with let's just forget it ever happened," Lilly suggested easily.

"You really mean that," Miley asked not sure it was so easily.

Instead of answering Lilly leaned in giving her a deep kiss. "Does that answer your question?" Miley only had time to nod before Lilly claimed her lips once again.

**July 27, 2016 continued**

_Dear Diary,_

_I guess technically it's July 28__th__ but I don't care. Today has been too good of a day to let it be over with just yet. Everything between Miley and I is good again. We even made love for the first time and it was totally wonderful. I know what you're thinking, we've been living together all this time and haven't even done that. Well it's true, we just wanted to wait for the right time, and tonight was definitely worth the wait. I'm so incredible happy right now._

"Lilly, get off that computer and come back to bed, it's so cold without you," Miley yelled from the bedroom, surprising Lilly with how well the other girl knew her.

"Give me a sec," she called back.

_Gotta go Miley's calling me back to bed. _

Saving the document, she closed the lid not bothering to close out, not caring anymore if Miley read it, because the two had promised to tell each other everything from now on. Crawling back into bed beside Miley and giving her a quick kiss, "I love you Miles."

"Mmm, I love you too Lilly, so much."

**A/n: So I sat down to write this having no idea what I would even write so I hope it turned out okay. The song Miley "borrows" is "You're my Number One" by Elena Paparizou (aka Helena Paparizou).  
**

**Oh and one final HAPPY BIRTHDAY M!**


End file.
